your girl(:

2010-06-07T16:31:00.001+08:00

here's my new url ok. (:

sorry for the urm disappearance.

http://scarred-memories.tumblr.com/

love them and leave them !

2010-05-23T20:48:00.002+08:00

i just ended a call with you, and i wanna say.

you rock, ma'am azrina! HAHAH.

i got very scared for this person right here

when she told me she was going to puke.

so i called her up, to make sure she's ok.

and in the end, i started crying

(over a different matter ) and she's the

one consoling me.

so haiyaaaaaa. that's life.

we're both sad right now so ):

but she made me laugh after suchhhh a long time.

and i cant thank her enough for that.

'the people who promised to not let anything hurt you,

are the ones who hurt you the most'

your words are still ringing in my mind.

and i cant stop thinking about it.

all i know is.

I NEED TO FIND THAT MALAYSIA BITCH

AND KILL HER OR BURN HER HOUSE.

GET LOST AND STAY AWAY FROM MY GF!

hahaha, and you, ma'am, don't sad sad anymore lahhh.

tuesday will come veryyyy soon. :D

GET WELL SOON EY?

i know you know i 'll call you again like reall soooon. (;

goodbye, love.

2010-05-23T18:19:00.002+08:00

MOVED!

hahah. to where?

summerrr wear over the rainbow.

no, that's not my url, dumbass.

you can try this:

waitlonglong.bs. (:

tell me what you can find there ok!

i love you, you-dontlastforever!

shall still post here whenever i feel like it.

thanks for being there when no one else could.

thansk for listening to me,

my cries, my happy moments, and my pissing ones.

i'm leaving you, because i thought.

i need to move on.

from everything, esp her.

goodbyeeeeee.

-because love, you're the only

beautiful thing in my life.

when that beautiful dies,

everything around me dies along with you.

zakiyyah

2010-05-22T18:01:00.002+08:00

*i've never met such a cute and handsome girl before.*
(: love her watch.

i miss you. damnnnn badly.

2010-05-17T22:09:00.002+08:00

it's my 150th post....

and it's

ZAKIYYAH'S BIRTHDAY! [:

kay. happy 18th birthday.

i dont want to say much here.

i miss you, sayang. love you.

'you're so handsome' HAHA.

alongside with nisa and hazel.

happy 15th, guys. (:

sigh. aku nak tido. besok ada soccer.

as in, soccer for PE. minta ampun.

seksaaaa.

2010-05-14T19:14:00.003+08:00

everyone's talking mid years lang nowadays.

alright, weekends set aside strictly for mugging.

was supposed to go study with rose,

it's ok, she made it up with the letter and hug(:

then made the trip to pasir ris,

was supposed to study at the library with them

but haiya, why pasir ris.

felt so near to home, in the end i gave in to

temptation and went home to sleep.

oh gosh. stop this.

go revise your mole.

go revise your dam(n) wall.

after 'cutting the beach up' HAHAHA.

go revise your enzymes. seriously.

go revise your dear heartless hitler.

IZNI. YOU NEED TO STOP THIS SHIT

AND GO STUDY.

i want to let go.

2010-05-13T21:47:00.002+08:00

first day at the container classroom.

oh my gooooooosh, HAHAH.

all the periods for today SUCKS. big time.

but thanks to that container, i survived today! (:

first of all, due to the fact that

the awesome foursome are still sitting together,

it's impossible for me to NOT get into the lesson

probably cos of the aircon also lah, but you get

what i mean ((:

and during first maths period (since we have 3)

me and celestine heard disturbing noises

then we start freaking ourselves out.

seriously, NOT. COOL. RAHH.

thenthenthen.

celest bought this damn smelly eraser

i swear, it smells like a burnt metal.

then she keep attacking me and the bangla

with it as a weapon.

i like, i like.( NO, NOT THE ERASER)

funny four's damn entertaining.

we laughed until our stomachs hurt.

shit man. we must not screw up our mye ok.

then miss poon wont seperate us :P

3S makes my school life awesome((:

2010-05-10T18:44:00.004+08:00

hello junie zafira,

i know i've neglected you for

the past few weeks and all,

but i'll make it up to you,

i promise.

i've set aside time to spend with you

study with you, actually.

until after mye then we can go party ah.

17th june. LFL'S OUTINGGG!

with sarah and elfa. baikkk ah. :D

i know you know we ALL know

that we fight ALOT.

and our fights are not those small little minor ones.

we curse at each other,

merajuk macam budak kecik. (sorry that's me)

but still, deep down i know you'll be there.

saper lah aku nak call malam2 buta

when i feel like breaking down

saper lah aku nak marah2 dengan when i'm pissed with myself.

saper lah aku nak bully when i'm feeling mean.

you and i are both two very different people.

you've said it before.

sometimes, i just cant stand you,

get mad at you, annoyed like gila babi.

but when i'm really angry/upset,

you know i'll just keep quiet to myself

and not talk at all.

when there's silence, there's really sth wrong with me.

i know things about you that no one else does.

you know abt mine.

but sometimes, i feel that i keep too many things to myself

esp currently.

remember oac,

when we shared a bed and planned

not to sleep on the second night

and had a heart to heart talk.

that's when i felt closest to you. (:

so lets jiayou together

for mye.

along with aqilah, humaira, elfa,

hidayu and syaf kk? (: ILY.

********************************

the FUNNY FOUR.

*celestine*izni*hidayu*elfa*

one china girl (not celestine ahh) , one bangla,

one loud annoying crazy woman,

and one and only normal person in the group.

MUAHAHAHAHA.

P.S. hidayu was so excited when

we've decided on the group name,

kental nak mampos.

happy

2010-05-09T21:18:00.002+08:00

i have a reason to be HAPPY! (:

thanks, rose. for making it happen.

tomorrow's gonna be a brand new day!

i'm looking forward to lessons. no really.

(cos it's lecture day)

i'm looking forward to see PHOENIX.

i'm looking forward to see you.

and then i'll be smiling to myself.

and think abt how loser i sounded. :P

i miss you.

P.S. and i'm looking forward to see CELESTINE! :D

and hidayu and elfa.

and spasm during class. YEAHH.

miss you.

2010-05-08T17:22:00.002+08:00

Thank you, for everything,

Ma'am Azwyn, Ma'am Eliqah, Ma'am Ying Xin.

appreciate everything you've done for us(:

will miss you very much.

2 years. a long time.

you're special to me, i dont want to lose

you again. )':

stay, will you?

2010-05-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

rose, will you be the same?

2010-05-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

you very well know that by asking her,

she doesnt have the answer to tell you.

in the end, she still has to ask me about it.

but did you even think abt it?

that i would hear it from her and not from you?

and knowing that you asked her instead of me

makes the matter even worse.

whatever. thats up to you.

she's your disciple anyway.

mans, wei jun, i hate this.

i know you agree with me ):

oh god, please give me strength.

2010-05-03T21:23:00.004+08:00

i need to snap out of it.

must stop thinking.

focus izni. try harder.

3 weeks left. to strive.

to succeed.

i need to. i have to.

i hope you're alright.

i hope you're doing fine on your own.

i have to work harder,

for myself, for you, for us.

if it's meant to be,

i'll meet/see you in the future.

cos in my heart,

you'll always be in my every 'tomorrow'

opening up to people was never an

easy thing for me to do.

but last night, i did, didnt i?

indirectly, i did.

i told someone my problem.

that's a form of opening up, right?

and i did heed her advice.

oh god. how hard is it to open up?

when i called you today,

and you picked up for 2 secs,

trust me, my heart stopped beating.

i need to find out what's really going on.

please take care of yourself.

i'll keep praying for you.

i love you.

goodnight.

2010-05-01T18:27:00.003+08:00

i remember the first time you kissed my forehead.
the first time you touched and feel my heart beat.
the first time you hold my hand.
the first time you told me 'it's going to be ok, im here'

the time when you cried on my shoulder
when you tried so hard to be strong,
but i know you're not.
strong people are not strong all the time.

the time when i would get angry at you
and you would run after me.
the time when you would hug me tight
and not let me go, when im upset with you.

the times when you scold me for my attitude.
the late nights calls till morn we had just because
i can't fall asleep or whenever im alone at home.
the long texts i used to keep to reread it whenever i miss you.

the long scoldings you received from my mum,
the scar at the back of my leg i received
after beatings and beatings.
the rumours and bad remarks we had to go through.

my own bestfriend couldn't accept it.
no one did. but you were there.
you became my world.
'even when the whole world's against you,
i'll still be here with you'

siti zakiyyah, you're special.

2010-04-30T19:52:00.001+08:00

): dont sound so angry.

everytime you post sth unpleasant,

i can't take it. mans.

i cant do anything about it though.

cheer up.

LOVELIES.

2010-04-30T18:46:00.007+08:00

still in a state of shock after the announcement. O:

so yeah. i'm ok/satisfied with it.

spent the day with my lovelies after that at ehub. [:

yeah. go malaysia! *inside joke*

then went to chill at mccafe.

then pasir ris park.

burn all our fats by cycling

and main playground! (:

hahah. i love it when im with them

aqilah and humaira were supposed to be in

but there were last min changes ): mans.

one thing that i realised.

i've found the family that i feel closest with.

we play, we study, we go crazy together.

tmr study date with farhana, yes?

so this is the hair i have now.
don't ask me what happened.
i had fever, remember?
when someone's having fever,
her mind isnt functioning well, like normally.

first time cross dressing.

i dont like. pssssh.

should i go get extensions now? hees.

my mum's first few words:

'bukan salah ibu yang mengandungnya.

ibu dah beranakkan kau sebagai seorang

perempuan yang sempurna. apa kau nak jadi ni'

): oh mans. not my fault the pic showed a girl

and it turned out like this.

2010-04-27T22:03:00.004+08:00

CELESTINE LIOW

2.4 today.

Felt like dying. i swear. i swear.

HAHAHAH. ran with aqilah and humaira.

but that bacen humaira left us like after 1/3 of the run.

then towards the ending she came back.

HAHAHA. was so sure i would throw my shoe

at her if she didnt come back. :D

so timing was 13.26. (:

great satisfaction achieved.

regretted not chionging towards the end but who cares.

celestine didnt come sch cos she's gotten fever.

since yest when she went home halfway,

thinking she'll get dengue soon cos the mosquito that bit her

(which bit me too) on friday was black and white.

mampus kau, izni.

): i want her back.

get well soon bobo

today was a hardcore day.

11-1 pig out at banquet

1-6 siao mugger at library.

this is your idea of a half day?

otak kau ah.

2010-04-26T20:00:00.001+08:00

): WE'RE SORRY.

favourite

2010-04-25T20:24:00.003+08:00

)':

keep holding on

2010-04-25T16:42:00.004+08:00

everything's not going well.
is it right to give up now?
why do i feel like doing so?
but still, i'm not going to.
cos if i do, everything that they sacrificed
would go to waste.

disappointing people feels damn bad.
yet we still do, time and time again.
i can't bear to see anyone cry.
after seeing my mum does, right in my face
all because of me.

yes, i'm no saint.
i've done many things that normal 15 yr olds
would never do. though most of it during my sec 2 year.
but that's not the point.

and one thing i realised,
we're left with no more chances.

i didn't do it, so if you insist that i do,
get a fucking reason and proof and
then i'll bow down to you. probably never will.
in the meantime, i dont disappoint anybody.
get your facts right.

and it's not the person who's making all the fuss now.
it's all those extras.

"there's nothing you could say,
nothing you could do,
there's no other way when it comes to the truth,
so keep holding on."

2010-04-22T23:03:00.001+08:00

oh. my. god.

jiayou for camp tmr, us.

oh my god.

2010-04-22T20:09:00.003+08:00

_I_ THIS IS FOR YOU.

funny or what. both dont know what to say
after every card has been laid out on the table.

ESP the her reaction cos she was so sure
and when a solid proof was brought out.
she suddenly wants to close the matter.
nothing else to say, no place to hide your damn face.

seriously, people like you should think twice
before opening your damn mouth.
tell me now,
WHAT CAN A 'SORRY' DO?

your sorry dont mean a shit to me.
thank you very much.

after all this is over, i promised mum,
i want to let go of all this.
not worth the time, not worth the effort.
the people i know there are just NOT worth it.

should have listened to elfa.
after years of putting in effort,
it's time to just let go.
this has taught me a valuable lesson.
thank you for showing me that side.

kesian, kan?
ada kawan buat kawan macam gini.
sudahlah, malas nak layan
ada ker si cikgu tanya
'saya tahu kamu tak gembira'

mestilah aku tak gembira!
orang asal main cakap! ingat funfair per.
muka sepak sikit. dah la nak buat baik ngan aku
selepas tu. boleh belah ah.

kumpulan yang lagi satu pun satu
tak boleh harap.
satu cakap belakang lagi satu,
abeh yang dier pun cakap belakang kawan dia lagi.

apa ni. kalau hidup macam gini
susahlah. yang lain pulak
nak sangat pangkat. dah lah pentingkan diri
sendiri nak mampus.

buat bodoh sudahlah semua orang ni.
naikkan darah aku jer.
sampai sekolah pukul enam setengah pun
buat sia sia ajer. nasib, nasib.

NPAP - a wonderful experience

2010-04-18T16:03:00.004+08:00

ok so this is it.

the end of my NPAP journey.

i dont want it to end. neither do i want to let go.

and to think conny and i hated our first training.

TO. THE. CORE.

yeah the 6 of us joined NPAP late

neither do we expect to be in the main contingent.

it was a privilege. thank you. plus being in the first rank.

we had to adapt to it. fast.

and i'm telling you, it's hard.

but now i didnt regret a thing.

the GOH girls contingent is the best.

the friends i make there are wonderful.

i love you all. thank you all of you,

for being part of my NP life.

the rehearsal before the real thing

is hardcore ttm. probably cos of the sun.

seeing people, one by one, falling out

makes you so scared and nervous.

esp the one right beside you.

then the real thing.

during presention (why do they have to make so long)

my fingers were cramming then i started

using anting's retarded method and start

singing in my head.

oh god. when the reviewing officer starts the inspection

i was praying VERY VERY hard for him not to

talk to me. and he didnt!

the girl beside me kenna! i was so happy

i had the urge to LOL right there and then,

so i bit my lips. HARD.

so thank you,

Ma'am Michelle, Ma'am Wanling, Ma'am Amirah.

for everything you've done for us (:

and you, for making my NPAP experience mean a whole lot more.

p.s. still wondering how ma'am amirah found out about it
and conny, i didnt REALLY practised on you ok. haha.
and FMH & GOH FTW! (((:

better days

2010-04-13T21:33:00.003+08:00

you're the best.
thank you for everything you've done for me, so far.
i know i'm going through a rough time right now.
thank you for being just there for me.

you've been a great senior/friend/confidante.
to think you're the first person i go to
when i face difficulty about anything.
cos i know now.

no matter what happens, whenever, i know
you'll be there for me.
yes, you got my back (:
and i got yours, leena lee.

rainbow after the storm? perhaps.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so this is it, i guess.
couldnt hold on to anything any longer.
letting go, getting weaker.
fade away, memories, fade away.

april 20. it'll never happen.
i tried. i really do.
now im dying for school.
i'll do anything to spend more time there.

because when i'm away from home,
i'm away from all the things that
are capable of reminding me of you.

i'm away from the couple bear you gave me
on 14th feb last year,
away from your shirt you gave me
the kitty on it.
away from the letters you wrote
that you cried on

so where is that girl i once knew now?

Stuck in the moment

2010-04-09T23:18:00.003+08:00

i miss this. i miss us.

i know right. i'm still not over it. )':

BOBBY, I MISS YOU.

2010-04-07T21:31:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELFA SHAHIRA!

hope you like the awesome awesome heels

(which cost me and rest of lfl a bomb)

heheh. dont be so dao kay. and smile more.

come for npcc more, and i'll feed you with more grapes in class.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAHMI!

hahah. you ah. just be happy ok.

thanks for stalking my brother

Hope you like your present which

costs me another bomb also.

WONDER WHO IS TURNING 15 THIS COMING MONDAY!

thanks kh. for making my day(:

2010-04-04T20:32:00.002+08:00

ok, im in a screwed up mess right now.
i swear. right now, i need no one else but farhana.
damn it, i miss her so much.
had a quick phonecall with her and we have so much things
to tell each other. i'll pray for you, always, best friend.
i know you'll be fine.

'there're so much things i need to tell you, izni,
taht i'm not telling. screw shit. i dont know how much
you need me but i so need you right now. idk why.
idk if im regretting but you're not here with me. as much as im not
there for you, you're not here for mee!'

things she said are stuck in my mind right now.
i know i'm in a hell of a mess right now.
i know we've drifted. im aware of that,
but i have school and cca and i'm really drained out.
why must you ip to victoria. why.

i've no idea whats wrong . i want to give up.
i am so close to giving up.
everytime i say we can do it,
i know we can. i had at least a little bit of faith in us,
but right now, i lost it. i lost everything.

what happened you may ask?
because i'm sick of childish attitudes.
i'm so sick of it!
i am forced to face it for the past 2 years
of my life! and this is it.
i've had enough. enough.

that's not the main problem.
damn, i know you're busy.
i know your As are coming,
but surely you know that after 3 months since sch
started, you've changed for the worse.

it's not like we've just met.
it's freaking 2 years for goodness sake.
fine, i've always been the one causing
the problems. it has always been me!
what about you! you're so good and nice
and innocent. come on. how fake can the world be.

you dont give a shit, doesnt mean i dont too.
but everytime i dont, you make me feel
like i've made a wrong move.

this is crazy.

2010-04-04T13:01:00.002+08:00

i have shit family shit life shit gf.

whywhywhywhywhy.

someone told me this last 3 days.

'when im at home, i have to face the dao faces

of my parents. when im at sch, i have to face the dao

faces of my seniors. what a life.'

currently, the only thing that keeps

my spirit high is NPAP and awesome

school time starting from 6.10-1.50 every mon-fri.

cos i have awesome friends, clique and table partner!

heheh CELESTINE (:

'eh izni, why you so quiet today. what's wrong?

tell me ok? cheer up lahhh'

so sweet right. i love that woman.

im so sorry i keep feeding you with chocolate everyday.

and to my dearest phoenix,

let's not lose hope and stay strong ok?

i love you people.

we can do it. can one, can one :D

i have a feeling im gonna miss NPAP.

like a lot alot. ):

oh mansss. 3 more trainings and the real day.

dayna hui, howwww.

2010-04-02T12:47:00.003+08:00

ANNOYING ASSHOLE LAH.

YOU THINK BY TELLING HER OUR PLAN IS

GOING TO MAKE ME CHANGE THE DATE?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

DONT YOU KNOW WE PUT IN EFFORT FOR THIS !

DONT YOU KNOW AT LEAST,

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SPILL IT TO ANYONE?!

ESP HER ?!

AND YOU JUST HAVE TO RUIN IT!

YOU AND YOUR MOUTH CAN GO FUCK IT AND DIE.

AND IN CASE YOU DONT KNOW YET,

YOU'RE NOT INVITED, JERK !!!

2010-03-28T16:58:00.002+08:00

~~i miss my girlfriend ):~~

well not anymore.

Bobby! [:

2010-03-20T15:55:00.003+08:00

but noooo! BOBBY THE PITCHER

IS MUCH MUCH BETTER!

i love you guys so much.

Ma'am Hui Sian

Ma'am Fairuz

Ma'am Julene
Ma'am Waihan

Ma'am Azwyn

Conny

Peyling

Sylvia

Izni

Shiling

Melissa

so that's it.

the last pitch together.

the final lap.

the beautiful ending.

we really did our best.

we were great, no doubt.

i love you guys so much.

and i know, that Bobby will always be in my heart.

remember our first few trainings together?

how we work on our quality and timing together,

how we learn to work as one whole team

how we pushed ourselves to achieve the best.

the accidents that happened.

the tears, blood and sweat that we shed.

team dinners and team meetings.

pictures taken together.

our unique bobby cheer.

and now every monday, wednesday and friday,

there'll no longer be this cool

group of people in trackpants in school.

and their pitching at the courtyard.

but everything was worth it.

every training was.

the bond and spirit we have now, is SPECIAL.

the experience we gain, is PRICELESS.

cedar campcraft team 1 '10

still the number 1 in our hearts.

BAIK AH CEDAR!

2010-03-14T16:55:00.007+08:00

GEMA PUISI ARTISTIK 2010. (:

NYJC.

HAD A FANTABULOUS TIME.

ADMIT IT. we look great (:

I AM TALLER THAN MY JUNIORS! see see! (even though i tiptoed. )

kak aishah ! (: HAHA. forgot you're in NYJC. [: awesomeee

KAK SYIFA & KAK HANAN [:

NISA! x)

presenting the cool people .... jengjengjeng.

more pics on FB.

ALRIGHT CEDAR !
you guys did your best,
you guys were rocking the house !
you guys were fabulous. :D

next week, NUS sajak.
all the best to you guys. you can do it ah!
i have faith in you guys(:
im not sure if i can make it.
cos i have finals!

yeah yeah! BOBBY!
finals. 6 more days to go.
i'm already feeling it. ohh mans.
we will rock it.

2010-03-10T21:25:00.003+08:00

OH MY FREAK.

there's school tomorrow.

im happy these few days cos i know she'll be there always(:

you're the common denominator

2010-03-07T13:20:00.006+08:00

yest went pulau tekong to send brother to NS.
went through the tour and presentation.

kind of fun. something different and cool.

kind of miss him already ):

rushed back home and got ready for DEAR JOHN!
oh so sad and touching.
sorry guys, if it was too boring.
and it made me realised, that some guys just cant take
temptation. HAHAHAH.

saw kak izah there. hehe. naughty, naughty. xD

the thing is, i don't know what i want.
everything just seems so ... not right.
i appreciate everything that you've done for me, my friends.
but some things, you just have to leave it to the heart to decide.

OAC tmr.
what exactly am i supposed to be feeling?
idk, but i guess the level of excitement/anxiety aint
the same as all those camps i've gone through
together with PHOENIX.

so let's hope i can solve all matters of the heart by tonight yeah yeahh.

2010-02-28T13:40:00.005+08:00

After cropping out part of this pic,

i guess this is fine to post online(:

hehe. bobby's phoenix :D ♥

And after 3 months of training, here's the outcome... (:

after pitching for about 1 min,

i was still shaking inside! wahhh.

but it turned out great. (hopefully in the judges' eyes too)

we've done our best. and now let's just all hope and pray

for good results. finals for both teams, hopefully.

great. bio time now.

Go Izni!

2010-02-26T22:23:00.003+08:00

IT'S TMR !!

GO BOBBY! GO LIGHTNING!

all the way. tmr is THE day.

hey that rhymes(:

2010-02-20T13:59:00.003+08:00

salam sejahtera, semua. (:

harap dimaafkan kerana tidak 'update' selama sepuluh hari ya.

please pardon the melayuness. getting ready for the big O this year.

in fact, in the pic above,

we were at taman warisan. which is wtheck!

haha, spot my gay bag !! :D

ok, initially, i had a lot of things to post in mind.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Birthday - awesome!

i love you all. was expecting this year to suck

to the core. birthday surprise was (':

I LOVE YOU, LFL ! Junie, Elfa, Sarah r. xoxo.

I LOVE YOU PHOENIX!

I LOVE YOU 3S!

I LOVE YOU geng melayu sec 3s, seniors, juniors, ma'ams [:

and farhana came back on my birthday! FOR ME.

can you imagine that? how sweet of her. loves. ♥

valentine's day/ cny

i dont want to talk about it.

20th -today

hmm, mixed feelings. seriously.

two different people, two different personality.

i have no idea whats in store for us in months to come.

nothing to (: about. just :/

and, whatever, not worth the time.

i bet like 3/4 of my batchmates will agree with me.

keep this up, and we'll see what'll happen to you.

2010-02-09T18:34:00.003+08:00

Im confused, and everything's getting to me.

i think starting a 'new life' isnt going anywhere.

when everyone around you remains the same.

what am i trying to hide?

what exactly am i running away from?

why cant i just face the truth?

what kind of shit facade am i putting on?

like who in the world are you kidding, izni!

like come on, grow up.

i feel oh so numb.

there're only two people in this world right now

who has the capability of affecting me so badly.

what are you trying to do?

it was over, and you came back into my life.

and now you're leaving me again.

like i need this right now.

and to the girl that i thought i knew,

it's time to have a heart.

i think im just tired.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i love social studies now [:

all thanks to mdm tan yah hui

she looks damn adorable when she smiles.

awwww.

cc training's one of the reason

i look forward to school.

i get to be with my best companions,

and pitching relieves stress. somehow.

i am happy with my english ta marks.

'not bad ah izni, can join eldds alr'

HAHAHAH. joke of the century.

me: eh junie, your hair damn oily yknow.

yiling: eh izni you damn straightforward eh!

me: ok lah, hmm, junie, your hair has a lot of lubricants on it.

jun & megan : HAHAHAHAH.

i love 3S. i just dont like the _____.

goodbye world.

im looking forward to the weekend, beybeh.

THE LONGGG WEEKEND.

jiayou, leena lee!

im here, rooting for you all the way!

heheh. :D

I miss the times when i would

go up to your class and disturb you. ):

awwww.

2010-02-08T22:25:00.003+08:00

Yes. im annoyed. very.

first of all, you dont really know who i am.

you're younger, you dont have the right

to know ANYTHING about me, or talk abt it.

my name is Izni. stop giving us

stupid nicknames that are so stupid.

seriously, you're pissing me off

even more each day.

get a life. like seriously.

and stay away from her.

i mean it.

2010-02-07T15:29:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CORN!
yaye. yest was awesome shit.
i think anting looks HAHAHA in this photo.
comehow, im not really looking forward
to MY birthday, which is a couple of days away.

i have a feeling it'd be the same old thing.
and that special someone wont
even remember it.
then again, you may ask,
why is that person considered 'special'
in the first place?

rahh, can kiss my birthday wish goodbye.
so let's see. what else to look forward to.
cc trainings, cny cum valentine's day?
other people's birthdays? interesting.

i want to be happy(?)
please, let me be happy. please.

2010-01-30T17:42:00.002+08:00

YAYYE!!

it's my daddy's birthday!

and we have choc cake! ((:

HAPPY 42nd BIRTHDAY, AYAH!

2010-01-29T23:09:00.001+08:00

CHEER UP. BE HAPPY )):

sigh. heart so pain.

2010-01-09T19:46:00.003+08:00

i miss A'tikah and Farhana like damn BADLY.

i hate this, i hate this.

school's not the same anymore.

im starting to like 3S. alot [:

so that's good right? heh, and cc team[:

glad everything's alright again.

maybe, just maybe,

people will stop being pissed at each other.

so, first week of school is great.

i have the ultimate most awesome teachers!

monday is O level results.

oh gosh. best of luck to all.

hee, now i have pretty pink nails [:

kay time for chem. byebye.

xoxo.

i love bobby!

2010-01-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

I MISS THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE ):

I dont know what to expect on monday.

Im feeling scared yet excited.

please, i need this year to work out for me.

i'll be nerd. i can, i must, and i will!

B) goodnight.

2009-12-30T15:18:00.001+08:00

3S. my class for 2010.

2009-12-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

THURSDAY'S GONNA SUCK. >:/

2009-12-22T18:05:00.002+08:00

yes, happy, happy.

today is so :D

i think its cos of the fried noodles

from old chang kee. HAHAH

ok here it goes.

called shereene at like 6.50,

told her im at aljunied alr.

haha, and she scolded me for being so early.

'you siao ah so early for what!'

i felt so -.- " HAHAH.

so i bought that fried noodles with fishcake(:

then i go eat unglamly at the bus stop

while waiting for her.

wah, i tell you, my heart so pain sia

watching THREE FREAKING 100 buses past by.

nvm, nvm. izni's so nice. super.

so parade was :D :D :D :D !!!

changed in 4 mins, 3 ++ mins ,

3++ mins and 2 mins 21 sec!

good job, phoenix!

we dont feel good, we feel great(:

i wonder how next year will be like.

jiayou, bobby for tmr.

i cant stop thinking about you.

i see you everyday,

buit there's nothing i can do about it.

sometimes you can hurt me so bad,

i cant sleep, or think.

i tried acting normally in front of you.

but it's not going anywhere.

should i just stop?

that girl's running through my mind all day.

am i giving myself away?

2009-12-21T21:50:00.003+08:00

OH MY BLOODY SHIT.

WHAT HAPPENED??!!

2009-12-17T17:17:00.004+08:00

I cant sewww !! for nuts.

this is frustrating.

Elfa: aaah! finished my almonds )):

Izni: how can anyone like almonds?!

Elfa: i do! it's nicee, and its sweet.

Izni: but they're nuts!

Elfa: HAHAHA. *do siao action* nuts, geddit?

ah, i love to eat (:

my new hobby.

yayeee, tmr there's cc training :D

BOBBY<3

bye world.

2009-12-13T21:47:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SOCCER BOY(:

JONATHAN TAN :D

be good boy and don't lose your phone again.

2009-12-09T20:11:00.006+08:00

yest was great lah okay!
went swimming with family,
go eat delicious thai food ( bloody nice ok the fried rice! )
then go shopping! :D

The most amazing part is,
i spent the whole day with zak(:
in a way... hehhe.

so she's leaving me alone in singapore
starting tmr for four days . ):
rahh. not the most amazing thing,
but i guess i have to make do with it.

my brother's having his prom tonight.

and bloody hell ah,

it's weird to see your big brother

in a jacket and all.

not bad ahh, abang. :D

and lastly,

HAH. Tabitha is O-U-T!

the hard decision

2009-12-07T16:27:00.002+08:00

i realise, after each training,

it feel like im giving myself away more and more.

this. must. stop.

no more throwing face.

anyway, had a breakdown in the morning.

literally. kind of shocking.

to myself since it has been a long time

since i broke down in school.

i dragged myself to school.

cant be bothered with my surroundings.

the bloody packed mrt in the morning is

getting on my nerves.

today, i just pushed my way out

upon reaching aljunied.

my music blasting like some bloody asshole.

im so sorry, i felt so bad.

yeah, no smiles, no laughter,

i daoed everyone.

then mother came, and forced me to say out everything.

no more, no more.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My dear,

things didnt turn out the way we wanted

it to be 19 months ago,

all because of that plan.

yeah, we may know whats right.

and whats wrong.

but what if this matter is really out of our hands?

are you going to force things still?

or just let it be,

go with the flow, follow the heart.

well, i know whats right, but after meeting you,

the wrong feels so right.

and that nothing ever stops me

from getting to you.

yes, love,

you're my everything too.

im sure any person would fall

head over heels in love with you.

well, i did.

it hurts to be left and it hurts to leave.

its harder to leave when you know

you yourself cant handle this.

and the guilt of having her killed by your own two hands.

i can hear your laughter at the other side of the line.

as it turned silent.

and then your cries.

i felt lost, i felt like i have to meet you,

hug you, kiss you,

make everything better again.

but no, no more, no more.

i did try my best.

i dd try to change you,

change everything,

i did try to save what i think was right.

lesson learnt.

when some things arent meant to be together,

no matter what, it just wont work out

no matter how hard you try.

im sorry, my love.

im sorry.

bad romance

2009-12-06T18:38:00.003+08:00

everything feels like a blur now,

like everything's passing by too quickly.

hmmm, great.

one thing i do know, that things between me and the mom

are getting better. she even brought me shopping.

i bought new dress, slippers, pumps, jacket,

a bag, and lots of junk food.

you know what?

i think everything's gonna be ok.

for once, i feel happy(:

it doesnt happen that much to me.

probably, the main reason is her.

i dont want anything to ruin this.

like i owe my life to her,

the feeling can get pretty crazy.

on the other side,

i dont want them them to fight anymore.

well, you know how it feels when your parents fight,

well, this feels SOMETHING like that.

we dont feel good.

in fact, we're sad.

i can feel the tension when the two of you are together.

i dont like it.

what about us? how are we supposed to act normal

when we know exactly what's going on?

what about next year?

is this thing going to continue or what.

i wanna do wild and crazy things this month.

no, not the club party kind of wild.

the test your ability kind of wild.

who's in? (:

bleah

2009-12-03T20:14:00.005+08:00

watched new moon with LFL and zak.

hah, hot guys on the screen

and hot girl beside me. (:

i dont like it. the movie, i mean.

its like watching your own lifestory on a huge movie screen.

and it's nice to have her by my side again.

i dont know what happened to us,

but im making sure that everything

will be alright soon.

it will be.

margarine girl

2009-11-28T20:31:00.005+08:00

wei jun: so sylvia, you bring butter/ margarine kay.

sylvia: so what do i buy butter or margarine?

izni: buy margarine. better. and cheaper?

sylvia: so what i just go tell the person i want margarine, and she will give it to me?

izni: O: you can find it in supermarket you know...

sylvia: haha, how i know, idk what it looks like.

wei jun: you know the butter/margarine..*continue*

sylvia: so what ! you want me buy butter or margarine! you're making me confused!

izni: margarine! margarine!

sylvia: big or small, how many? how does it look like?

OMG SYLVIA LOWWWWW AHHH.
walao. she made the whole table laughed like siao.

2009-11-25T18:26:00.000+08:00

I CANT WAIT TO SEE THE JERSEY.

((:

dates, dates, and dates.

2009-11-24T11:32:00.007+08:00

i cant believe i agreed

to go watch gossip girl for hours with

my wife, kwoi an ting.

it's ok, i'll bring FOOOODD.

and stuff myself. i cant wait. :D

Tmr going out with elfa.

hehh. hope it'll work out.

well, there's SOMETHING to

look forward to with LFL.

talking abt them, goshzxsz.

JUNIE ZAFIRA JUWANDAH!

LOOK AT THE MESS YOU'VE

CREATED FOR YOURSELF. ISH.

infinite Xs and Os,

izni.

2009-11-22T15:10:00.002+08:00

yes, im running away.

goodbye.

new school! new school!

2009-11-20T19:36:00.000+08:00

I MISS ELLE EFF ELLE. omg.

kay, the new school's so new!

the toilet is like so nice ok.

like omg, so nice okay.

and i went to the back of the canteen

HAHAH. omg, it's ok lahhh.

quite scary at first,

since we've been hearing stories

for the past two years.

haiyoooo. kay, i like the school.

just that it's a bit eerie.

but it's ok. the people there

are worse ghosts than the ones

flying around at night.

infinite Xs & Os,

Izni

2009-11-20T16:04:00.001+08:00

if you're trying to avoid me by not talking to me,

fine. i dont want to think abiut it anymore

but whatever you did to me on wednesday

considering you know abt your status with that guy

is not acceptable.

i dont know what to say anymore.

the disappointment i get everytime is

just too much.

i want to run away from everything

maybe because im simply just scared.

but i wasnt like this before.

i never did ran away.

i never did try to forget you.

not once.

i never gave up.

i need to give up, izni, pls

)': thanks. yeah, im too naive.

too naive.

2009-11-20T15:57:00.000+08:00

OMG. FAIZAL ISA IS OUT.

seriously go die.

2009-11-18T18:15:00.000+08:00

hehehe.

you know you are one girl

that made my life in cedar a whole lot better.

you were there in my times of need,

when i need a friend,

when i need someone to rant to,

someone who i can just trust totally.

the truth is. there's not many people out there

that you can trust,

and i mean it. especially after i entered cedar,

it's a whole diff world.

the real awesome people in this school,

you can actually count with your fingers

im not trying to say anything, but

obsessing over your teachers? ehem.

i mean, give me a break.

treating them like friends?

thats another thing.

spreading rumours, bitching, backstabbing.

people here, judge a lot, i must say.

judging people is not your job, asshole.

get a life.

i've seen a lot of drama these two years.

and im getting tired of it,

maybe this is life in a girls' school.

HORRIBLE.

then, i had squadmates, still having. haha.

they're the best and most awesome

group of people you 'd probably meet.

yeah sure, we fought,

there were arguments.

it happens, but the thing is,

we cant help loving each other so much.

the bond, you can actually feel.

people call us anti social, arrogant etc.

but i guess, whenever we're together,

we're just in a world of our own(:

NCOs, they're another thing.

they just make your whole life in school

seem so meaningful.

REAL role models.

2009 was absolutely NOT the best year,

but hey, that's life.

YAYE. budak and aishu are back from perak.

miss you guys loads.

infinite Xs & Os,

izni.

♥ my idol.

2009-11-18T16:34:00.000+08:00

♥ FAIZAL ISA! ♥ FAIZAL ISA! ♥ FAIZAL ISA! ♥ FAIZAL ISA!

i think im obsessed. gah.

i wonder what happened to farhan. HAHA.

love like this

2009-11-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

i like this pic veh much leh.

life's pretty crazy now alright, just the normal
ups and downs, lefts and rights, backs and fronts
SIGH.

on a lighter note, i watched 2012 and jen's body.
kind of cool, and pretty freaky.
megan fox is abcolutely HOT.
oh my goodness.

i like the rain nowadays.
especially in my room, with pillows surrounding me,
and my lappy showing cool movies,
plus the cool wind.. ahhh...

i hope things will get better.
im hearing thunder now. O:

i dont want to make the same mistake.

2009-11-11T19:31:00.000+08:00

it's back to blasting my music.

i no longer understand the meaning

of true love or soulmate anymore.

JIAYOU PHOENIX

FOR MOI TMR YEAH! (:

and lets make saturday work !! :D

hehhe, i wonder if someone's

still clueless abt saturday. ((:

shit happens

2009-11-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

You're the only one i have

and you left.

why are you so god damn dumb

2009-11-09T20:04:00.000+08:00

the bus trip to school today was pretty interesting.
i was sitting at the top deck,
and unlike other days, when i'll have
my music blasting, today, i actually looked out(:

and i find bus drivers pretty amusing,
they give each other signals and funny expressions
while driving and it totally made me laughed.
one even saw me, and raised both his hands up high and WAVED!

besides, its my last few trips to school in bus 23.
i have to enjoy this.
thats when i saw this poor uncle.
he was pulling this piece of wood with wheels(?)
using just a strand of string.

he was crossing the road like other pedestrians,
then suddenly, two of his big big black plastic bags fell.
it was exactly at the middle of the road.

i mean, yeah totally, it was so poor thing ok.

and the thing is, the many many people around him

din even bother to stop and help,

they just walked pass him like he din exist.

i mean, come on, does it hurt to just bend down and pick up the bag?

what the fudge is wrong with the world.
i cannot understand it at all ok.
he's in the middle of the road for goodness sake.
and he aint as young as you! not even close.

i cant stand singaporeans,
whatever you learn in school, you dont apply it
in real life. tell me,
how many of you people out there actually give up your seat
when you see a pregnant woman in the bus/mrt?

so what if you're a straight A student,
SO WHATTT !!
it's useless when you cant even
contribute such a simple thing to the society.

RAHHH.

you're my falling star

2009-11-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

spent the day with xihui and an ting(((:

omgod, it's bloody fun ttm, i swear.

we went school, serangoon macs, kovan, potong pasir, serangoon again.

HAHAHAHAH.

was supposed to just stay at school,

but oh wthell, it was so boring.

i need entertainment, man.

i was getting hungry anw, haha.

went to eat, bought headphones, went an ting's house.

and watched stardust! ((:

while eating chips and chocs and drink beer!!

root beer.

an ting: want coke, root beer, or green tea?

me: HEINEKEN!!

an ting: heineken your foot lah heineken.

but her house really got okay! tons.

wanted to visit old cedar.

but SOMEONE was bloody scared. haha. B)

the next two days will be LJs.

so hehh.

off to finish up my cssp.

xoxo.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME

DUANE'S GONNA BE OUT SOON FROM SI.

cant stand his face X:

BOODAK. <3

2009-11-04T12:07:00.000+08:00

and thats what you call a hug,

a hug with lots of compassion and sisterly love.

budak's letter makes me tear every single time

i read it, without fail.

her post. makes me cry even more.

when i first saw her in sec 1,

i went 'oh my goodness, this girl's so quiet.'

so unlike me, and so i went to talk to her.

we talked and somehow,

i felt the connection there,

we became friends,

and many things happened that bonded us.

all the tears and laughter.

her taking forever in the toilet to tie her hair.

her silence whenever she's angry or unhappy.

her never ending rants on _____.

her love for farhan too(:

her kentalness, retardness, and everything.

i'll never forget.

my dear girl,

we'll be parting soon enough.

and if there's one thing i would want to tell you

is that i'll never forget what you've done for me.

and it's true, you mean so much more to me

than anybody else.

although we'll be in different schools now,

well always be in contact alright.

i never thought i'll only be able to spend

two years here with you in cedar,

but it's ok.

because within these two years, i learnt the true

meaning of friendship.

and that there's someone one there,

named Nur A'tikah Bte Yahya that i can call;

MY BEST FRIEND.

rawr-ed

2009-11-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

awww.
someone once told me this.

i realised. i miss that person very much ):

im back from ac.
oh urm, yeah.
im still affected by budak ok.
so, just leave me alone.

Nur A'tikah left me for tjc.
have fun there alright, love. miss me.
treasure all our moments together always.
yes, once a cedarian, always a cedarian.

best friend♥

wantinggg

2009-10-26T20:18:00.001+08:00

i want that job. i want that job. i want that job.

thursday, thursday.

please pray for me. thank you.

-i want my lfl right now.

-did i mention, i love cikgu zetty ttm? (:

-i THINK i can go through another 4 days of skewl.

-ac coming, jiayou.

-budak's leaving me soon for tjc. D:

- i hate people like YOU.

-i really need my lfl now.

-♥ siti zakiyyah alot, no matter what.

-dont want to go 'SHINEE' all the time

-wants to go 'eh you combi, combi!' with phoenix.

-starting to like my hair(:

xoxo

2009-10-25T21:33:00.001+08:00

life's not exactly 'great' right now.

thats all you need to know.

2009-10-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

idk if you'll be seeing this;

but i miss you, Elle Tusya. ):

you're my suu-gar!

2009-10-21T21:17:00.001+08:00

today's post exams acts were great lah ok.

the video conference shit was wth(?)

the movie was awesome ttm.

the talks were alamak, so sian.

im damn bloody tired.

practice was great, somewhat finalised.

just tired, and tired, and headache.

but it was fun, with denise

giving 2148174 comments, i tell you.

haha, im just scared of falling kay.

haha, crapped with wei jun and elfa

after practice and waited for coals ppl to end,

then cabbed to tamp with lfl.

HAHA. stupid uncle take long way

cheat MYYY moneyyyy.

haha, faizal's performance today was great(:

my schedule for the next two weeks is set.

i just hope mum wont mind

Jiayou Phoenix. :D

oh my supergirl

2009-10-20T19:31:00.000+08:00

happy 18th month, sayang ♥

i love you, very much.

): sad, cruel life.

2009-10-20T18:39:00.000+08:00

why do you keep doing this to me?

seriously just stop it.

stop getting on my nerves all the time.

stop treating me like this.

its shit.

whatever thats going on in this house.
is just shit.

there'll be shoutings and screamings

and much unhappiness.

fine, im sorry i have so many things to prepare for currently.

im sorry i spent too much time

with my squadmates doing sensible things.

im sorry i cant spend much time with you now

im sorry im just not attached to you anymore.

im sorry im just not the child you want me to be.

im sorry i have friends.

and then you'll be saying....

'but your exams are over. you're supposed to be

having a lot of free time'

free time, my foot ah, free time.

considering the situation now,

there'll be much meeting up to do.

and preparation for hell. (HAH)

and you dont have to add to my problems,

come on, give me a break.

im bloody darn tired

and i was expecting a good rest once i reached home.

but noooo, you just started interogating me

like im some criminal.

siaaa, stop it, its hard trying not to curse.

cos i know, deep down inside i love my family.

i wont do anything to hurt them.

so help me, to help you, mum.
please.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

and to this girl right here,

dont be sad, we'll go through this together alright? (:

cheer up, stupid girl.

ok, this just goes to show that elfa DOES bully me.

)): but no doubt, she's an awesome friend.

not to mention an awesome dance teacher. HAHA.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

its hard to ignore all those blood stains

on the shirts and pillow cases.

but no, i choose not to believe this.

esp when its hard to walk.

and it feels like you're drinking your

own blood all the time.

cos your whole mouth's full of it.

im a healthy girl.

when its time for me to leave this world,

i'll leave peacefully.

no one knows about this

not until now

after YOU read this blog.

oh god, please. )':

what's happening to me, and my body?

3rd month, baby(:

2009-10-18T15:05:00.000+08:00

everybody seems so zonked out.....

EXCEPT ME! hahah

ok, so yesterday spent the day with phoenix.

it was ok, there were our stressed out moments,

our laid back moments, our gay moments,

anywayyyyy,

G, wo yao go !!

but my mummy not sure whether

she wants to let or not!

howww! someone, help me!

i want more $$$ now,

cmon, baby baby.

there are so many thing i absolutely

need to have ):

HAPPY 3RD MONTH, Elle Eff Elle!!!

Junz, Elfa, Sarah, Izni{:

our own sweet land of happiness(:

2009-10-15T19:07:00.000+08:00

NOW THAT EXAMS ARE OVER.......

i've more than enough time to spend with my girl(:

i've found her, that girl. I'm sorry for neglecting you all these while, girl.
i can't express my love for you.
cos you mean the whole world to me.

i believe, we've gone through so much.
so much shit from people,
so much shit from family members,
and annoyingly, friends.

but still going strong(:

i swear, no one can replace you in my heart.
you're the best girl i've met.
my baby<3

Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it.

20th coming :D

sigh.

2009-10-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

it hurts so ~~bad~~ ~~good~~ BAD.

sigh.

you're just one of them.

HATE is a very strong word, and so;

I HATE YOU.

MUST WATCH!!!

2009-10-11T16:31:00.000+08:00

OMG! FARHAN'S SO ADORABLE!
and he's available okay!
HAH! IN YOUR FACE, AQILAHH!

HAHA, pretty boy cant dance(:
love you lahhh.
farhan shah forever<3

i'd rather stay awake than asleep.

2009-10-10T17:23:00.000+08:00

yeah, i do.

'nice bracelet'

rahh. todays's saturday!
started the day out with alot of dramas.
luhh. woke up at 7.30 ehhh.
i got life also kayy.

i had sth against mats.
yeah i do. HAD.
but i realised,
mats like hilman, farhan, faizal, hadi
are acceptable and still can be tolerated.

(: good job, izni, go0d job.
HAHAHHA.

you,

yes, i couldnt stop everything

cos now i realised who's important to me.

and who's not.

i didn't betray you.

wah what the fuck.

yes, im making it easy to read.

by writting this in an international language.

wo bu yaooo.

i dont want this to happen,

i din even see this coming.

RAHH.

i've not been crying myself to sleep

for a long long time,

until now. thanks.

you said you're still my friend.

when you dont even act like one.

wthell did i say to them,

tell me whats my relationship with 'THEM'

cos trust me,

only if they are my dear lfl,

i'll believe you.

other than that, please dont say i 'betrayed' you.

cos they dont know me,

they dont know what i've gone through.

they dont know a single shit.

im tired of trying to prove anything to you.

im tired of always being the one trying to understand.

have you? have you done anything

to understand me?

i can say it straight to you right now

that the answer's clearly...

NO.

It's all up to you now.
istillloveyou

im luvin' it.

2009-10-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

kay, i had a nice time today.

really i do. {:

history paper was okay. not bad, not bad.

then 31-ed to marine parade lib damn bloody early.

met up with hannan and his friends.

and coincidentally, AHEM AHEM,

sarah met her ex crush! HAHAHA.

someone blushed until damn red ahh.

then studied until around 12++ to one,

go parkway and eattttttt(:

kay, kenyang ahh. happy ah,

food whatt.

lol, hadi and hannan then

came back from friday prayers,

then studied again.

wah did maths and science today. wtpiang.

haha. hadi lend me his vict team jacket.

nice right? nice? HAH. YEAH RIGHT.

i even went to the ladies with that. lol.

then i dont know what happened,

studied until 4 plus and we went off

cos the guys wanted to eat.

fineeee. went banquet.

saw some familiar cedarians there... (HAHAHA)

their expressions were so cannot angkat type one.

hahah. then was only me, hadi, hannan and junie.

kay lah, gossip lah,. gossip somemore eh, stonie? (:

so, overall, today was

DAMN FUCKING BLOODY FUN.

cos it got my mind off everything.

i like today so damn bloody much,
i want to repeat it over and over again.
it totally made my day.
all the kekekness.

hadi's gonna get back at me for paiseh-ing him.
good job, izni, good job{:

FARHAN SHAH; sweet thang

2009-10-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

i swear, this guy has stolen my heart.

he's sooo adorable.

why, farhan, why are you doing this to meeeee?

nah, faizal's still my top (:

if he's out, i swear, im not watching SI anymore.

rahh, i regret not voting for this mat here.

im going to vote from next week onwards.

damn you junie.

i was on the phone with her last night,

while watching the results show.

she was hooray-ing on the other line and im here,

crying my eyes out. best ah that girl.

Farhan, dont lose hope ok?

we'll still be supporting you{: yaye.

dumb ass, my kental friend(:

2009-10-08T19:39:00.001+08:00

on 7th oct 2009, around 6.50,
i received a missed call,
then a few mins later, the person called back.

the person: hello, nurul izni, you have been caught for smoking.

you potrayed a very bad image of cedar girls'

and im going to inform your parents soon.

me: yeah right. my face, smoker face mehh!

the person: i dont care, you have been caught and i insist you on coming to my office tmr.
its your vice principal talking.

me: WTF SIA. my vice principal is not a GUY! you got proof meh that i got smoke?

the person: yes, i got. why ah. why were you smoking?

me: oh sorry ahh. temptations ah babe. exam stress. cannot control myself.

the person: ok, you shall meet me tmr in my office. scared ahh scared..

**5 mins later, still talking crap....**

wahhh, lame sia you hilman!
seriously, got no lifeee sia.
want to prank call also dont know howww.
fuhney or hu-whattt.

)':

2009-10-07T19:47:00.001+08:00

zakiyyah, i miss you )':
come tell me, im so stupid as to believe HER.
im sorry.

you're my biggest mistake.

2009-10-06T19:05:00.000+08:00

Im not fcuking expecting anything,
but if you insist on leaving, fine.
yeah sure, you made the right decision.
wow. what a turn off.

I'LL FACE THIS FUCKING SHIT MYSELF.
cos no, i dont need you.

save yourself from all this drama.
no, im not blaming you.
but i wouldnt be surprised,
if i see you one day, with another girl.
telling her how much you love her.

i dont need this shit right now,
esp with my papers coming in 3 days.
congrats, izni.
yeah, just when im enjoying life.

'that girl's not normal'
FUCK YOU LAH ASSHOLE!
KNN CB! KIMAKKKKK.

thats it. this is the limit.

as promised.

2009-10-06T18:09:00.000+08:00

Trust me,
my pics are all overr the place. kay, enjoy.
im the ugly duckling among the roses. )):

kay, i went with this bunch of kecoh people.
it was such a blast(:

EH SARAH, you got no life ahh. want kiss hamster.

took alot alot of pics with this makcik over here,

lazy upload all ah girl.

you're the best.

i love you kay.

jambu tak ini pompuan?

played pool at maryam's house(!!!)

IT WAS FUN TTM.

basically, only me, elfa and sarah played. plus maryam,

being our coach.

FOOLUHMAKKK.

funnn luh cann.

met the other group at cikgu's house.

oh, it was planned(: HAHA.

i loveee it, i love you all.

presenting...

Elle Eff Elle!!!!

LFL, kamu sungguh lawa dan jambu {:

lots of loveee.

2009-10-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

IM SUPPOSED TO BE UPLOADING MY RAYER PICS.

sorry, geng. i tired. and lazy. HAHA.

kirim salam sudahh, korang.

peace out.

~~oh, did i mention?~~

~~i love Nicole Heng(:~~

~~yes i do.~~

the way i like it(:

2009-09-28T19:44:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY, ADIKK! {:

iloveyou.

have fun with your patrick star

and machine gun and idk what other nice toys you got!

but must study hard for your EYE! :D

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

aper ni gaduh2. tak bagus tao. bulan syawal katakan.

Kay kay, i love this girl.

she's MY budakkk ok.

mine and mine only.

dont you dare steal her away.

i spent the whole day with her today.

and look lahh at all the merepek stuffs we did.

her fault ahhh. haha.

and we forced each other to memorise peribahasa

by writting them big big on the whiteboard.

funny siols. but it works ok! you should try it.

then we made up some weird expressions

with the peribahasa to help us remember.

'baru hendak bertunas, sudah dipetik,

lama2 matilah pokoknyaaa'

SEE! i told you it works. :D

ask me tmr how the expression sounds like.

i'll be more than happy to tell you(:

love you, best friend(:

2009-09-23T18:51:00.000+08:00

*walks into ntuc* *look around aimlessly*
*junie uturn*
me: arent we walking one round?
*continue walking*
me: i swear, we are walking in a circle.
*junie and elfa walks*
me: did i mention, we are walking in one big round?
elfa: yes you did...
*walk walk walk*
(30 secs later) wait i still thinking.
junie: *drunked*

HAHAHA.

CB = candy bar.

2009-09-22T20:48:00.000+08:00

some people are so*&^%$#@*& !!!
they just fucking piss me off.
like you know, you can say 87612329 things before this,
and just eat your own words up after some incidents happen.

like dude, hypocrite cannn? CAN!
just stick to your fcuking words.
but its those fcuking words of yours
that no one, not even your freaking blahh
can believe.

rahh rahhh.
stupid man, seriously.
waste your time right. waste lah.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i dont like malay summary.

maybe cos my vocab's too limited ):

sighh. i need this particular malay lit person to help me out.

ehem*zakiyyah*ehem.

i dont like meiji's strawberry milk also.

my mum just bought two bottles):

i dont likeee. taste like blehk.

hari raya is ok i guess.

hmmm(?)

now my raya mood gone alr. like totally.

sedih sey. ni exams and sekolah punyer pasal. cb.

ah, i cant stand after sch activities.

they just bring down my mood for the dayy! wah knn.

ah, whatever kay. i shall stop complaining alr.

and enjoy my time in cedar!

(if thats even possible)

i cant wait for 3rd october, people!

cos that will be the only day

i will get to spend with my favourite CEDARIANS!

raya mooood.

2009-09-19T23:57:00.000+08:00

kawan-kawan, besok hari raye!

SELAMAT HARI RAYER, ALL!! (:

and i cant wait for tmr. heehee.

notice the blogskin and blogsong?

mood rayer habis aku ni.

sec twos,

all those buker puaser plans.

and our kecohness,

you guys rock lahh.

besok kiter happy2 okay?

makan rendang,

minum gassy drinks,

take pics, collect money. talktalktalk{:

whoo! LFL, budak2 kecohh.

and yayee. hari raya this year is on the 20th!

know what's so special abt it? hehhe.

happy 20th, baby!

im totally loving it.

2009-09-17T20:50:00.001+08:00

i like i like, the new sofa,

the new plasma tv (which i'll convince my mum to put in my room),

new curtains, the kuih2 and keks.

i am officially in a blasty raya mood nowww(:

the only thing im looking forward to,

sadly, i would have to do some hardcore mugging on saturday

to make up for the whole day of awesomeness the next day(:

OH MY GOSH. exciting, isnt it? LOL.

ok, today wasnt that exciting though.

the periods were hmmm. except pe, which was kind of nice.

and after sch was ....

today mummy went courts again, and bought me a new bedsheet(:

so pretty! HAHA. why am i so gayyy.

and urm, new carpet and fan? yeahh.

after raya will be mugging at airport and macs again!

heehee. i havent been eating macs for one month alr ohkayyy.

ok, it's official. i swear, this is a total gay post. ignore it.

oh you know, i think its amazing how you can act so big

and totally do something so STUPID, stupid.

i swear. fuck you.

fuck you very very much. with a knife. HAHA.

oh please, dont try to understand me.

2009-09-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I MISS YOU!

my rose, please come back )':
i doubt you're gonna see this though.
but rawr, it hurts. still hurts.
after so many months.

you're not sorry.

2009-09-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

it's hard when you are desperately
trying to find out more abt your partner.
or when you just dont understand her,
and break down.

i dont want you to be like this.
you used to love everybody.
and so i figured.
my love story's all abt loyalty.

have you ever thought that just maybe,
you can sense that she's lying to you?
or when her story's inconsistent
and got stuck at one particular question?

this feeling sucks. ttm.
i tried to understand you.
i tried to love you again.
and mind you, it's VERY hard.

knowing your past makes me realise
that you're not the kind of person i thought you were.
but i saw the signs way before that.
i know you just cannot stay true.

before anyone could shove it to my face and shout
'i told you so', please note that
i dont regret a single thing tht happened.
yes, i was only 13 then.

i used to choose you over my own family.
i thought it was just them who refuse to understand.
those mother daughter talks worked afterall.
i have both my mum back and my lover.

and please,
this is not just a goddamn phase, asshole.
this whole thing is about me.
this determines what im going to be like
in years to come.

you just dont get it.
when you have no idea how badly you've hurt me,
it'll always be other people
who'll be comforting me.

it doesnt make sense.
you just dont make sense.
i cant. make decisions on my own.
i cant think.

there'll be mixed emotions.
and i'll just keep thinking and thinking.
and still, end up where i've started.

oh god, please dont use the same thing
you used on them, on me
the moon, the walks on the beach, the 'i adore you, izni'

sometimes, im so close to giving up.
i cant believe why i am so stupid.
i called you my soulmate.
and to you, im just another one of your lovers.

i've hurt my own classmate and my own squadmate.
two different people, just for you.
and right now, truthfully saying,
i feel very attached to them(:
thank god for that.

'i love you. i will always love you'
i found out. JUST found out.
you said that to this girl
the same way and same tone you said it to me.

girl, i hate you for saying i love you to me.
i know your past is sth that you can never change.
i just want to know now,
did you ever regret whatever you've done?

do you feel like you've done me wrong?
cos no, you told me to accept you the way you are.
but i cant, when i know,
it'll happen again, and again.

and right till the end, i know, too,
that i will always be that girl.
smiling at everyone else,
when her whole world has come crashing down on her.

sacrifice.
its a big word you're using there.
but girl, you've taught me many things in life.
and there're many many reasons why i fell in love you(:

i just want you to know,that whatever it is,
you'll always have me.
always.

All this time I was wasting,
hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
and all you do is let me down

And its taken me this long, baby,
but I figured you out
And you think it would be fine again
but not this time around.

Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didnt know
Could've loved you all my life
if you hadnt left me waiting in the cold

And you got your secrets
and I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
cause its worked each time before

)': please change. im crying out to you.
can you feel it?

those days; i miss )':

2009-09-06T20:46:00.000+08:00

you opened my eyes and you made me believe.
you make our dreams come true.
you make the greatest impact to our lives.

and i'll never let go.
not ever.

my teddy bear!

2009-09-06T13:56:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE!
i've got something to say!
gather around, makcik2, pakcik2, ah beng, ah lian, minah sesat...

IT'S HUMAIRA'S 14TH BIRTHDAY!! :D

it's my kesayangan's birthday eh!
that preeeeety girl from 2N.
so huggable, so kissable. ( O: )
HEHHE. so yessss.

it's her birthday and im so happy for her.
finally fourteen huhh. {:
dengaar cakap mak yer?
jangan nakal2 and be a good girl. yeah.

you're a nice friend, a great companion.
so sweet, but hey she's a tough girl too, okay!
i love you lahhh. (:
haha, unlike aqilah, you dont have to ask for a dedication post!
(HAHA! dont tell her ahhh!)

xoxo,
iznayye

my heart, my soul, my everything

2009-09-03T17:04:00.000+08:00

tell me, why am i so in love with this girl?

Cos she's wonderful, sweet, pretty, awesome, great,
fabulous, smart, thoughful, nice, and
she's all mine!

met my lover yest.
after soo long. :D
how i used to hold your hand,
how i used to just stare at you.

your temper, my temper.
your tears, my tears.
our fights, big and small ones.

nothing can beat your love.
no one seem to understand.
and they go, 'oh, thats wrong'
as they walk away.

you make my life worth living(:

I can't change the way I feel
I'll live with it instead
I loved you then,
I love you now
I'll love you when I'm dead

AQILAH!

2009-09-02T20:13:00.000+08:00

OK, WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY, PEOPLE??
i cant hear you....
do you want to knowwwww?

come. let me tell a story of a girl....

who dont seem to know how to take pics.

STILL doesnt know!

so i boo-ed her!

then she got better, and i was impressed!

but as a nice person i am, izni will always love her(:

SO HAHA, happy 14th birthday, Noor Aqilah!
whatever it is, yeah, you're a monyet alright.
so please dont be ego
and tell everyone that you're loved by me.

cos i know, baby.
its the greatest thing that ever happened in your life(:

have fun, being 14.
as an older, and much WISER friend,
i must say, enjoy your youth while you still got it!
haha, but you'll always be an immature kid you are(:

HAVE FUN! and dont leak out my secret okay? :D

with lots of love,
me!

that girl right there.

2009-08-31T21:49:00.000+08:00

THIS GIRL RIGHT HEREEEE.

i just want to say, im sorry.

im sorry. ):

i love her alot okay.

anyone who mess with her,

will really kena by me.

and you, pls dont make her life miserable.

make mine instead(:

people, come say awwww.

i love you, nicole heng. {:

pls know that from now on,

i'll be here for you if you need me.

please be happy and only then,

will i be happy.